A male friend of mine keeps insisting that both genders must stand against the antiquated ways of our society as him and the young men in his family have all been oppressed into following the elders’ commands against their personal will. Thanks to the dogmatic beliefs of our society that are passed down, generationally.

He was being forced into getting married at only 20 years of age but instead he chose to leave his house. So were his brothers and sisters. Many men in my network of friends have also gotten stripped off from their right to follow their passions, especially of art and music. And then GBT men are most often completely rejected from society. Another friend of mine was punished when he would read western novels by his fundamentalist father. Yes, as women, we are stripped off from far more rights but that doesn’t mean the oppression isn’t shared by both the genders.

My reaction is to empathise with his pain instead of saying NO you’re lying or that my pain is greater than yours. My question is, why can’t both genders unite and fight against the dogma of our system? Maybe we need to fight against orthodoxy instead of patriarchy or perhaps a combo of both? I think its also important to fight against the crime and not the criminal, as most people are operating on an auto-programmed “zombie” mode.

Men play a crucial role in the fight for a more balanced society. Hence, we need to support them and treat them with kindness, love and compassion, because they’re also dealing with a very fixed notion of masculinity which can take a huge emotional toll. 

I believe that it is unjust to pigeon-hole all men as bad and all women as pure and vice-versa. Both genders must acknowledge the subjugation caused by those in positions of authority. Truth is that men need women and women need men and we must come from a place of empathy and understanding to evolve our relationships and ultimately our society.

The famous catchphrase from Aurat March 2018 of “Khaana garam karo” applies to both men AND women. If both genders work then both share house chores, if one doesn’t work then he or she does the house chores. It is as simple as that.

The need of the hour is to inject mega-doses of matriarchal values into our system which has been staunchly patriarchal for centuries, to a point where even men have suffered. Matriarchal values and the divine feminine traits of kindness, compassion, empathy and vulnerability need to be embodied by BOTH the sexes. It’s not about khaana garam karna but about dil naram karna. (Not about heating the food but about softening your heart)

My wish is that we can come together and stop making this a matter of MEN VS WOMEN or WOMEN VS MEN and to choose love over fear as our domineering emotion. Ultimately, this fight is against all those tyrants who oppress not only a gender but also maids, servants, slaves, transgenders and animals.

We must raise our consciousness before it is too late. 

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